Sunday, 30 September 2018

Flat Earth One-Pager

Olivia Riley-S
September 26, 2018

Flat-Earthers, as the intellectuals on this planet, we have decided that all conventional science is not only flawed, but completely fabricated altogether. We have gathered a mass amount of people all around the globe who state that science has been pulling a prank on humanity. The Earth, is not and never has been, round. You want proof? Simply google images of the Earth, notice anything? I’ll give you a hint, THEY'RE PHOTOSHOPPED! “They’re all different!” claimed two men seen at the UK’s first ever Flat Earth convention, they take note of the color of the ocean, and the placement of the continents while “Looking for the Photoshopped Images,” 

Notice here, the oceans are two completely different colors, how else could you explain that? That’s right, there’s no other explanation, check-mate Flat Earth Society.
“How do you not walk off the edge?” those who ask that question obviously practice the phrase ‘Ignorance is bliss’ and they are unable to grasp the facts. Darren Nesbit, a part-time musician who drives a van for a living, informs us that if you “Walk off one edge,” “through a quirk of space and time you’ll appear on the other side.”       
            Those who question us? Don’t worry, we just hit them with the facts.

Here’s the thing, there is not a single piece of evidence to prove us wrong because anything that may contradict our theories has been falsified by the government and the so called “scientific” community.
In conclusion, don’t believe everything you read. Who knows what you might find?
*side note* not only is the world flat, but the moon is also a projection.


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5 comments:

  1. oliviariley30 September 2018 at 10:56

    this piece was quite informal and meant as a joke, I hope you enjoy it anyways :))

    ReplyDelete
  2. Unknown30 September 2018 at 14:31

    Hahahahaha

    Great use of sarcasm in this satirical piece. I can tell you had fun with it. Tell me, does this kind of stuff cause you actual concerns? Hm.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Unknown25 October 2018 at 15:16

    This is hilarious! But I do have to ask the same question as Mrs. Becker...is this a real problem?

    ReplyDelete
  4. Unknown26 October 2018 at 17:59

    I like this article because unlike the others, it doesn't take itself so seriously! I can't fathom how something like the Flat Earth or Anti-Vaxx can start in an age where all the information and facts are a Google search away.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Travis Weininger17 November 2018 at 16:04

    This is just a weird article but funny. How do we know where the edge of the earth is?? are you a flat earther??

    ReplyDelete

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